I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
