I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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