Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize