please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
