Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

(630): View more from Illinois

if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

Fav 6 1647 1834
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(407): View more from Florida

i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?

Fav 33 8580 1045
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(740): View more from Ohio

Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

Fav 49 4793 918
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(813): View more from Florida

I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

Fav 25 3397 1054
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(859): View more from Kentucky

The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

Fav 17 6165 1053
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(714): View more from California

i perioded on his leg

(714): View more from California

on. his. leg.

Fav 49 1389 11049
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

Fav 16 1639 6181
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(703): View more from Virginia

She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.

Fav 0 457 433
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(804): View more from Virginia

Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.

Fav 0 92 12
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