Got a toothbrush?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
