I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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