the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
