i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
