His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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