i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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