Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
