i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
