i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
