I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize