as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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