just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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