Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
