I need help removing her.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
