So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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