woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
