And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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