i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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