i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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