hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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