it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
