my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
