I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
