I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
