Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
