How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My bed smells like the plague
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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