Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
