omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
