I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
ok first of all what the fuck
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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