Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
