It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
