the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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