at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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