weddingsv make me drug and hornr
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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