I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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