Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
