that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize