somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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