where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
