Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
