If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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