Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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