But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize