Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
