I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
