Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize