Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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(513): View more from Ohio

You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I intend to get homeless drunk

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(941): View more from Florida

She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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(406): View more from Montana

i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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(301): View more from Maryland

I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful

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