How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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