my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
