You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
