I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
