The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
