I want to have your abortion
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
