dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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