Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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