8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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